Funeral

Yesterday was a most difficult day. Bruce and I left our house at 6:30 a.m. to make sure we got to Buchanan by noon. Of course, getting through Detroit was not an easy task. But even with traffic jams we arrived at the funeral home 50 minutes early. We went in. We were the first ones - only ones - there. We walked into the room where Louise was laying in her casket. She was dressed in red. It looked as though they had gathered her skin around her face, dressed her then laid the skin on top of the collar. There was a wave of wrinkled skin under her face. They also had set her jaw forward so she had a rather belligerent look about her. Bruce would not have recognized her.
The service itself was nice. The only problem was that the preacher portrayed Louise as this wonderful compassionate woman who would be greatly missed. He actually mentioned all our children by name - even though she met only 3 of them. She never recognized any of Bruce's family while she was alive.
There was a man there named Johnny who was no blood relation to Louise at all. He was her second husband's son. But she accepted him and was in 'daily' contact with him. We had reached out to her on many occasions, but she couldn't be bothered with us.
It was all Bruce could do not to walk out. And I would have walked with him.
The service lasted less than 1/2 an hour. Then we all waited for the pall bearers put the coffin into the hersh. Bruce was not asked to be a pall bearer at his own mother's funeral. He was hurt.
The family could ride in the limo that followed the hersh, but we chose to drive ourselves so we could leave after the ceremony at the grave site. That ceremony couldn't have lasted more than 10 minutes. We spoke to a few people, then we left.
Missy, Mitchell, Johnny and a few others spoke with us. People were very cordial. The preacher asked Bruce if he had any good memories of his mother. Bruce told him no. The preacher didn't know what to say.
Bruce's dad called on Monday night and volunteered to go to the funeral with us. Bruce told him he appreciated the offer but why would there have to be two of them in misery? Bruce's dad offered to go because he knew that Bruce was the 'throw away' child from a first failed marriage. He knew that Bruce had tried many, many times to get back with his mother and was rejected each time.
She's gone now. Too late for "I'm sorry". Too late for "I forgive you". Too late for "I love you."