Depression

This is one of those days that I cannot get going. I don't have enough energy to brush my teeth or change out of my pajamas. I feel a dark blanket over my soul.
There is something wrong with me. Why would children turn against a parent? Why would a brother turn against a sister? Am I so bad that I cannot be forgiven for ANYTHING?
I don't feel worthy of friends. I have turned my back on friends - afraid that they will see this terrible flaw in me. That they will hate me also.
I've gone to my Bishop and found innocent of charges, but if this is true, why do people still feel I am guilty?
I wish I could cry. I can't even do that any more.
I stay in this pain because leaving is a sin. I will not put any more burden on my husband or the children who still love me. Or my sister. I see the pain that Jim caused his family and I will not do that to those who still love me. But why do they love me?
Nothing I have ever done is important. Nothing I do is right.
My life is a blackened hole into which I am falling.