Roberto/Roberta

I think I mentioned that we had owned a macaw. He was absolutely beautiful. He had long blue and yellow tail feathers and bright red feathers on his back. His face was mostly blue. He had an attitude befitting a hungry wolverine. He knew everyone except my dad was afraid to touch him. Mom could pet him a little bit, but Daddy could get him on his arm and walk around with the dumb bird. Roberto had a perch he stayed on. Every once in a while he'd fall off and someone would have to lift him back up to his perch. (Not me - oh, no!)
Roberto would whisper in the dark. No words, just whiper, whisper, whisper.
One night Bruce brought me home from a date. My family were all in bed sleeping, so the house was dark. We silently came in the front door and were standing there saying our good-byes. We heard 'tap, tap, tap' then right next to us in the dark someone was whispering. From the floor. Scared the crap out of both of us! I realized that stupid bird had fallen off his perch sometime before we had come home and he was joining us. Bruce bid a hasty farewell (very tall chicken!!!!). I was left in the dark with a nasty parrot with a beak that could break femurs.
I did the only thing that I could do. I woke my mom up so she could take care of that obnoxious bird.
By the way, a few years after we got Roberto, he laid an egg. He was called Roberta from then on.